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Saturday, March 31, 2012

It seems I should change this blog name to emails to Brady:

No worries on not responding to my email.  It's more so I just wanted to double check to make sure you read it, as I thought it had some good material in it that was directly correlated to you (daoc etc).  Man that biking sounds amazing.  I miss boulder for that reason.  I had some of the most amazing/emotional bike rides I've ever had there.  What an outlet for distressing thoughts.

Yeah, I agree that the world can be changed in many ways, and that is something I have been quite vocal about.  Changing the world through something as slight as daily interactions.  At the same time, I have been feeling lately that conforming to an office job that is for a reason that is purely monetary will not satisfy my needs.  That is not to say I can't find some business work that I feel makes a positive impact in others life.  I think there are quite a few business that have that outlook.  

I too have thought of the relation between helping abroad vs helping locally.  The separation for me, lies in the basic needs of the individuals I am helping.  The basic needs  (health, education, food) must be met before considering a different line of field, which expands in all directions, branching in vast angles of extension.  (pyschology, extracurricular courses, and eating more healthy for example; to the 3 basic needs I mentioned).  But yeah, at least in Seattle, I don't sense the need that I do in some of these other countries.  At the same time I feel like teaching english, while being a great experience, is not something I could do for a longer duration, and feel as though I am contributing something worthwhile.  

I too agree with you that a lot of the "progress" of international countries into a more british or americanized colony attaches the capitalist policies and ideals.  With that said, I don't think many would argue that English is the international language.  It always people to connect and see the world outside of their own.  Burma is a polarized example of this, but as they have been shutout from foreign visitors, and have been without native english speakers to help teach, they become in a sense, imprisoned in their language, as they have no ability to learn outside of it.  There are very few translations using the Burmese language (which looks like the elvish writing written on the ring from the movie Lord of the Rings).  That's why I feel more of desire to teach here than somewhere like China or Korea.  That's not to say I still may, as it is an unbelievable opportunity that only (kinda only) we are open to.

Something else worth discussing, is this "change" can be pursued outside of a profession, but It this moment, I see them as being compulsory attached. I just feel as though so much time of one's life is that time that he or she subjects himself to the needs and demands of that career.  Where at one point (not long ago), I was content with the idea of pursing a career in that which I enjoyed the most, I now think a duality must be recognized between enjoyment and asserting some type of positive change (on a bigger scale, other than those within my cubicle, or friends and family).  This is actually what I have been wanting to talk to you about, but I was too lazy to write something up.  Now it is dispensing itself intrinsically.

 That is part of the reason why I am so excited to share this travel video.  It is never good of me to get my hopes up, but I truly do hope to spread this video far beyond my social network.  The thought that it could inspire someone who I don't even know to get up off their couch and go see the world in a fantastic one.

As for what has changed in making me want to DJ, that is a relatively easy answer.  I no longer want to let fear (even the slighest fear), get in the way of me living my life to the fullest.  I know that is something that has hindered my ability to pursue careers, informing myself on the world around me, and also DJing.  It's funny, now I have the desire to seek out everything that at any point in my life I shied (shyed?) away towards, for the sole reason that it is a challenge that I avoided.  

As for what I will do in the future, I have no fucking clue.  As for being "good" at what they may be, I also am in little doubt that I will perform as with the best of my intentions.  With that said, I hope to remove the words good and bad as far from myself, and the vocation and hobbies I take part in.  I know that in itself is another reason for my evasion of particular endevuours (job/djing).  I know I have been raised in that manner, and that is not necessary something bad, to be passionate about what you do, and hope to succeed in it.  But if you only follow lines in which you think you will be "good" in, that will detract all that lies outside of those bounds.  You will confine yourself to a success.  And if you aren't a success, you are a failure.  I want to choose the things I do because I love doing them, and possibly, and most likely, as a byproduct, the things I love doing, depend on some type of expertise or skill level, but I don't want to ever tell myself again that something I may "fail" in is not worth seeking.  

I perfect example of this is my accumulation of information.  Something I believed was not worth investing time into, as I was unconfiedent in my ability to retain the information, thus implanting the thoughts that I was too dumb for it.  As of the last couple days, I have been immersed in a book some Norwegian guy named Max let me borrow.  It is on quantam physics, something I never fathomed reading about, understanding no less.  I have been loving it.  I am slow to read, as my basic comprehension for physics and chemistry are lacking, but I am methodically picking it apart, and beginning to have an inkling for the basic foundation of this entire world (atoms).   Expanding what I deem attainable.  That I guess, in a nutshell, is what this trip has done for me.   

I will leave you with this quote from a philospher I've been reading a bit about.  Ralph Waldo Emerson.  He's an American who helped spur the movement of Transcendentalism in America, and consequently, all over Europe.  Here it is:

"To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men. That is genius"